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How to Write a "Why Us" Essay Part 2: What You Should Include

Part 2

 

Now that we’ve covered what not to put on your “Why Us” essay, here are a few “Why Us” essay DO’s:

 

DO: Show the university that what it has is exactly what you want

How do you do this? Start by folding a piece of paper in half and labeling the two columns at the top: “What I want” at the top of one and “What they have” at the top of the other.

 

For the “What I want” section: Think deeply about what you want out of your university. Go beyond your fascination with environmental law or microbiology and get into some of those extracurriculars too--the beach volleyball team, the West African Dance club, that course in advanced Alexander Technique. Write ten to fifteen of these down in the “what I want” column.

 

For the “What they have” section: While you’re scouring the internet or visiting the school, try to come up with fifteen to twenty SPECIFIC details about the school that match up with your wants listed in the other column. (And note by the way that it could you be you see what THEY have first and then write a corresponding “what I want.”) Example: you see Tap Dancing (DAA 3412). Boom. Write it down.

 

Generating a list of specific details will turn this: “I really want to go to NYU because they have great sports teams and because I’ve always wanted to live in New York so that I can visit the downtown area on my off days.” #doingitwrong

 

…into this: “Courses such as Cinematic Expression (FIL 3463) and Film Documentary (FIL 3363) will not only build my base knowledge in a variety of films genres, but will equip me with the technical understanding I need to begin developing my voice, and I hope to work with other students at the local Enzian theater art house during the Florida Film Festival season.”

 

What’s the secret?

 

DO: Be as specific as possible are you make references to classes, teachers, extracurricular activities and beyond.

Don’t go overboard, though. Coming out with “I hope to follow Professor Bill Nye as he rides his purple fixed-gear bike from his noon class to the campus Einstein Bros Bagel to order his usual pumpernickel and garlic bagel with cream cheese in the hope that he might—” may earn you an honorary #CreeperStatus from the get-go. That’s like a ten on the specificity scale; you don’t want to be there. A one would look like this: “I want to do ALLLLLLLLL the activities!” You want to be at like a seven or an eight when it comes to good solid details.

 

Just keep in mind your two columns--never just what you want, or what they have… keep connecting them to one another.


 

DO: Use your “Why Us” essay as a chance to show more of what you’re good at.

Don’t be afraid to brag a little. Not too much, but a little.

 

DO: Offer to start clubs or extracurricular activities that you’d like to have at the school.

If you’d like to start a club like the Happy Hands Club that connects sign language students to schools for deaf children, awesome. That shows you’ve got initiative, chutzpah, audacity, whatever. Just make sure that you…

 

DON’T: Ask to start something the school already has.

Research. Research. Research. If you try to skimp on this and try to make it up without looking it up, the school will notice. Also, make sure that you…

 

DON’T: Try and do something that you can’t possibly do your first year there.

You want to do WHAT? Organize a two-hundred person weekly dance party on the student union green every Friday? Sorry. That’s a fire hazard. Keep your hopes reasonable. Remember, you’re trying to convince your reader that you are a student who will go beyond the call of duty—just don’t hit your head on the stars.



 

                                                                                                                                                        - Written by Ethan Sawyer - 

 Ethan Sawyer, also known as The College Essay Guy has worked for the past ten years as an SAT instructor, curriculum writer and college essay specialist. He holds a Bachelor's of Science from Northwestern, an MFA from UC Irvine and a Certificate in College Consulting, also from UC Irvine. He is an active member of the Western Association of College Admissions Counselors (WACAC) and National Association of College Admissions  Counselors (NACAC) and resides in Los Angeles, CA.

 

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**If you would like to have this professional College Essay Guy, Ethan Sawyer,  to provide the valubale advice on your essay writing particularly when you are planning to submit essays to your dreamed college/university in the US, please contact us at info@education-ladder.com and we will arrange to set up the essay consultation service for you.



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