Parents are often heard complaining about their unruly children, and they found disciplining them quite a daunting task.

How do you discipline your children when they talk back, throw a tantrum and go against you all the time? Are your children getting on your nerves? Experts suggested that parents ought to uproot the causes of their children’s unruly behavior and think in retrospect, to see if they have contributed to the situation. After considerable contemplation, parents need to readjust their methods of communicating with their children. Only with friendly interaction between both parties can the children learn to be good.

Find out Why They Are Resisting

Setting rules is of paramount importance when it comes to teaching your children proper behavior. You need to observe if they are able to meet the parameters, though. Setting higher goals can push them to the limits, but ensuring that they won’t find the goals untouchable also matters.

Scenario 1: Telling your child they will get a candy if they finish drawing the picture. Children often take advantage of their parents’ love as they know that even if they don’t manage to finish the picture, they will still get what they want. This gets in parents’ way. It’s crucial to adhere to your principles and keep your word, so, snatch the candy and eat it right away. If your child started bawling and crying (which happens all the time), tell them that the only way to get what they want is to seal the deal. You might even give your child an extra candy if he/she really does finish the picture. That way, they will come to terms with the reality and learn to obey.

Scenario 2: Curfew. Say, if 9 o’clock is the deal, but your child is begging you to let him/her play a little longer, choose compromise over persistence. Make exceptions at times to let them know that a change of schedule is always possible.

Attend to Individual Circumstances

Being a tiger mum can make your children listen, but bear in the mind that Amy Chua has two children. Her children can talk to each other and vent their frustration, or even talk behind their mum’s back. A strict parenting doesn’t apply in single-child families. Your child will very likely become a rebel, shy away from responsibilities and bully people at school during adolescence. They may even resort to truancy from high school. A mum once barged in our room and the first question she asked is, ‘I’ve been really strict with him since day one, why did he go on the wrong track?’ The answer is, you’re way too strict.   

Things to Do When Children Don’t Listen

Parents are often left with the baffling problem, that is, how to get children disciplined when they don’t listen to you at all?  I’ll be very honest with you, often times, they’re actually listening;  parents need to change their ways and pick a more appropriate method of communicating with their children.

Hit the Bull’s -eye

Naughty. Difficult. Opinionated. If your child belongs to any of those, you have to think of a better way to express yourself and communicate with them. Making them follow your way of doing things just doesn’t work anymore, in this era where personal freewill weighs above absolute obedience; parents have to turn the right switch on. Keep trying until you’ve found the best strategy to make your children behave. Find out when they’re in a good mood and want to get close to you is the first step to successful parenting. A parent once told me that she has set a ringtone that is code for communication and whenever the ringtone is played, the child will pay attention to his mum. The ringtone, in this case, serves as a secret code between the mother and the child.

Adhering to principles is no ideal parenting. Getting to know each other is. Rules shall be set with the consent of all involved parties. When it comes to disciplining more than one child, parents can ask them to write down the rules on a piece of paper and let you sign afterwards, so they’ll comply with the rules (created by them) as well.

Reward Scheme

Children should either be spanked or scolded at – many parents still hold that view in the present day. This is a new epoch, and abiding by the old teachings just isn’t enough to prepare your children for future challenges, which are drastically different from the older generation. Catering to your child’s needs is the key, so nurture them with love and care.

Teach your children discipline using positive stimuli and tell them with behaving comes reward. Your children will be pleased if you come home with a bag of candies, and at times like these, ask your child to do a task – a simple task. You can ask your child to pick up a piece of rubbish, or hug you. The idea of ‘behaving is good for me’ will then be invested in their mind. This is called, professionally, the strategy of behavior modification, with which children learn to act according to your wishes and develop desirable habits.